Subtweeting: Inside the Harmful New Social Media Trend

What is Subtweeting?

Subtweeting consists of using social media (Twitter being one example that inspired the name) to talk negatively about or gossip about a person without naming that individual specifically. All that people involved have to do is use descriptions, characterization or some sort of code to discuss the person with impunity. In some cases, this happens without the participants even realizing what they are doing.

Subtweeting is a way to escape responsibility because it can be hard to figure out who the perpetrators are discussing. In some cases, people become de facto contributors through seeing what is happening on their social media channel of choice and making the occasional offhand comment about it. Among digital trends for tweens, this is harmful because it is hard to blame any one person and the target can be difficult to identify. 

Is It Okay for Your Child to Practice This?

As one of the digital crazes for tweens that has dramatically grown in popularity, subtweeting is something you are most likely going to have to deal with at some point. When a person subtweets, they are essentially bullying the person being talked about. While this may not result in any kind of direct physical assault on the target, the emotional fallout can be significant.

How do you feel when people talk badly about you behind your back? How much worse do you feel when they use a description that could be you but might not, just so they can avoid taking any kind of responsibility for it? Even with adult level coping skills, this kind of behavior hurts the victim. 

If such a thing was happening to your child, it could bring on depression and a traumatic level of social isolation. If the idea of having your child's social circle subtweeting harsh things about them bothers you, it is your responsibility to keep this from happening as much as you can.

Fighting Back -- Monitor the Social Circle

One of the worst things about social media is that, much like within a small town environment, almost everyone can know just about everything about virtually everyone. Among digital trends for tweens is the tendency to be extremely communicative in an equally open channel. This means that you can use your interpretive skills and begin to spot patterns if you look closely. Are you noticing that a lot of negative posts have similar descriptions or euphemisms? 

Communicate With Your Child's Friends and Their Parents

While you may only notice one part of a subtweeting incident, other parents and their children may be noticing other components that you can piece together. This is something that many tweens will not want to share because "snitching" is considered bad form, so you will have to draw it out in order to learn anything of substance.

Encourage Your Child to Talk About Subtweeting

Talking about the issue at hand can bring it out into the open. If your child has been subtweeting, it is important to learn about this immediately so that you can work on getting it to stop. If your child is being subtweeted about in his or her social circle, it is important to learn about this so you can bring it up with other parents, teachers or coaches. The sooner your child reports this type of behavior, the sooner it can end.

Talk About Why This Behavior is Wrong

In our article 8 Online Etiquette Rules Every Tween Should Know, Common Sense Media's Parenting Editor Caroline Knorr discussed how the phenomenon of subtweeting often leaves people acting as bystanders. While your child may not be a primary perpetrator of subtweeting, participating in it is a problem that you can address immediately. Work to make your child understand that this hurts people. If they have a real problem with a peer, they should consider approaching them directly on the matter and they should never use social media as an outlet for their frustrations.

Subtweeting is a growing problem in youth culture, but as a parent you can do something about it. Parents must vigilant, understanding, and unafraid to dig a little deeper to discover the truth about a situation. Keep tabs on kids' social media activities in order to prevent yourself from being in the dark about subtweeting and other harmful digital trends.

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Cyberbullies use Internet to ‘subtweet’ their victims

The current generation is known for using various social networks to connect with one another. Although being able to communicate all the time may seem like a benefit, it has also led to an increase in forms of bullying such as making Facebook statuses like “I can’t believe you did that to me” or “You think you’re so cool for ditching me, you’re such a bad friend.”

In this new species of cyber-bullying, one references a certain person or issue on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter without mentioning his or her name. On Twitter, this is called subtweeting. On Facebook, people just create indirect statuses.

Sophomore Kristina Hann recalls witnessing subtweeting on a daily basis.

“Often, when I’m on Twitter, I see it about one every ten tweets,” Hann said.

The comments are specific enough to make clear to the reader who is being discussed without explicitly saying his or her name. The writer can deny the offense, but everyone else in his or her circle knows who is being targeted.

Rachel Resnik, director of the Mindwell Psychology practice in Bethesda, believes this passive-aggressive method of problem solving is not beneficial for either party.

“With the particular method of subtweeting, it is most likely used to get around parental supervision,” Resnik said.

With the lack of parental control on the Internet, one has to freedom to vent their feelings in whatever terms he or she deem appropriate.

According to Katie*, who has been used in an indirect status, she was really hurt by the status because a lot of people knew who the status was talking about. She could not call the writer out on it, however, because he or she could easily deny that the status was about the source.

Most teenagers look at this way of venting as harmless and appropriate, but it still does not change that what they say online is permanent, public information.

“Technology has made it very easy for one to be aggressive,” said Resnik. “One doesn’t see the outcome of what they say or how the person reacts to what they say.”

Although this strategy would seem to be used by one who has low self-esteem, a 2002 study by psychologist George Schreer proved that those who have a higher self-regard are more inclined to use this method of aggression.

According to Rebecca*, who has used subtweeting to vent about her boyfriend, she believes people use this methods because it is easier for people to get their point across without making a big deal about the issue.

Even though these methods allow one to purge their feelings concerning an issue, it can lead to a greater problem than it needed to be originally.

For example, if one gets into an argument with a friend, and then writes about it on Facebook, it is indirectly getting more people involved in the conflict. Once more people become involved in the issue, it escalades from a petty issue into a greater problem that is more difficult to resolve.

One might not be able to control what another person writes on Facebook or Twitter, however, one can control his or her response to the issue by either ignoring it or responding to it in person rather than online.

“We could shut down subtweeting today, unfollow them and tell them we aren’t going to tolerate it anymore,” Resnik said. “However, we human beings are not good at stepping forward and defending someone.”

*source’s name was changed to protect their identity

- See more at: http://www.thechurchillobserver.com/features/2012/02/24/cyberbullies-use-internet-to-subtweet-their-victims/#sthash.xfbBPzFl.dpuf